You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
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We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
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My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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