using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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