I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
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Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
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Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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