Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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