I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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