Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
i think i just naturally attract stoners
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize