I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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