She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize