i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize