Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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