Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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