i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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