My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
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Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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