And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
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Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
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One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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