someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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