If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
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There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
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We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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