after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
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I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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