I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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