there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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