i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize