thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize