she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
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the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
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Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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