am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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