nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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