I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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