the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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