so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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