I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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