it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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