so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize