So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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