there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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