I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize