He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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