Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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