just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize