I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize