Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize