I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize