my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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