At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
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It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
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She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
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