just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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