I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize