I'm lost and stupid without you.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize