so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize