I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
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He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
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So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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