i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize