i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize