I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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