I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize